i'm in the running for the worst blogger ever

i'd like to say i was busy, but that clearly wasn't the case for ten entire months, so i'll just stick with "no excuse" and move on. lots of stuff has happened in the past ten months, but the point of this entry is to finish that damn grand canyon story if it kills me... which it shouldn't.
day three was wednesday. i slept for twelve hours; apparently driving in the snow really saps my energy. we were awakened to the lovely sounds of a snow plow making short work of the eight inches of snow coating our entire parking lot of residence. a blizzard in arizona, go figure. we left at around ten a.m., shortly after philip was accosted for breaking into and sleeping in the hotel behind which we were parked. it's not that we hadn't tried, it's just that the doors were locked and we couldn't get in, so go away, police man.
an hour later we entered the Kaibab National Park, which i guess is the same as the grand canyon national park? anyway that's what the signs said, so i'll go with that. we went to the back-country office to check on our permit status and get a map, and naturally we had to hit the park store because we forgot stuff. first of all, we left our ground cover in the parking lot of the hotel... dumb. second, we didn't have crampons. i realize that these sound like a hygienic product, but they are actually chain attachments for boots that enable greater traction when walking on snow, a virtual necessity when that snow happens to be two feet from a seventy foot drop down a mountain. so we bought some stuff and packed some stuff and ate some stuff and parked and took some pictures and started walking.
our route was pretty simple: down the South Kaibab Trail, camp for two nights at the bottom of the canyon, and up the Bright Angel Trail. we started on the south kaibab at about 1330 amid waist high snow drifts and lots of traffic. most of the hikers were exiting the trail via the kaibab trail; apparently our plan went against the flow because, due to it's ridiculous steepness, the kaibab is a bitch to descend. we realized this 6.5 miles and 5 hours later when we crossed the bridge leading to our campsite across the colorado. i was pretty pooped, and philip, lacking my natural prowess and relentless stamina, was, well, really pooped. we walked into the bright angel campground, which quickly proceeded to blow my mind. i have done quite a bit of camping in national parks where people drive in to set up their tent fifty feet from a heated bathhouse with running water, and i have done quite a bit of backpacking in the wilderness where people walk for miles to set up their tent next to a bunch of trees without an outlet in sight, and i always assumed that the two worlds would never meet. we had just hiked seven miles into the grand canyon, into what i assumed was wilderness, to find at the bottom not only a bathhouse with running water and electricity, but also cabins and a lodge with tables and games and a bar selling hot chocolate. this campsite was so nice, it even negated some of the gear that i considered absolutely essential. we suddenly had no need for bear bags or the accompanying rope, or for the water purifier or iodine tablets. needless to say, i was surprised.
we set up our tent and ate, though philip's appetite left something to be desired. this turned out to be a pretty big deal, but that comes to fruition on day four. anyway, we wandered around this wondrous campground for a while and played cards in the lodge, but it was dark and cold and there really wasn't that much to do, so we went to bed at around 2100. fun fact of the day: the low temperature that night was six degrees fahrenheit. quite pleasant.
we woke up around 0800 the next morning and proceeded to wonder what in the world we were going to do with ourselves that day. it's not like there was a tour to catch or anything. eventually we decided on a particular day hike, six miles out to a waterfall and six miles back, all along the bottom of the canyon, not a lot of elevation change, a pretty easy trek all told. we left most of our gear, brought some food and some water and headed out.
philip and i started walking together, but i quickly began to have philmont flashbacks (long story, the point is i quickly get frustrated with hikes that i consider unnecessarily slow) so i picked up the pace and left him, assuming that, worst case scenario, if he fell and broke his leg i would find him on my way back.
the trail itself was exceptional; it followed the course of a tributary to the colorado, and so it meandered with the stream, at some points pulling full 270 degree turns to accommodate the cuts the water had been making in the cliffside for the past grillion years. additionally, as it crossed the stream, the trail was augmented with bridged, and not the makeshift log bridges of mediocre eagle scout projects i was accustomed to in parks like this, but bridges designed by engineers and constructed by skilled laborers who actually knew how to handle a power saw. several were even made of steel and concrete, which seemed excessive to me, but still impressive. the kaibab national park was continuing to blow my mind, though slightly more gently this time.
eventually even i get bored of looking at beautiful, sun-touched bluffs and rugged plant life that seemed so out of place in that freezing desert, so, naturally, i started pretending i was an elf on a scouting expedition through hostile territory. suddenly every hill was a potential ambush point for a troop of uruks, every stunted tree and low-lying bush provided cover or concealment. my hiking poles became rapiers, my pack was suddenly filled not with cheese and trail mix but with lembas and honey-water, blessed and enchanted in Lothlorien. the final bridge leading to the grove containing the waterfall became limitlessly precarious, surrounded as it was with hostiles and traps. yet somehow i made it into that protected grove to rest, resupply, and contemplate the fact that i was glad no one was around to wonder why the hell i kept running and hiding behind mounds of dirt.
the waterfall was lovely, though not exactly akin to niagra. it fed a fairly small stream, and it only dropped about a hundred feet, but the niche it had carved into the canyon wall was filled with life. everything there smelled green, a fairly stark contrast to much of the rest of the canyon. i climbed on rocks and attained overlooks and used my binoculars to look for philip, and, after some backtracking myself, i found him. we rested some more and took pictures and generally stood in awe of the landscape until i noted that we needed to get back before dark if we didn't want to freeze to death and be eaten by mini-bears.
after helping philip negotiate a stream crossing, i set off at my usual pace, doing sets of push ups on the way to relieve excess energy (these restless hiking habits really do trace back to philmont, but it's just too long of a story, and not a very good one). however, after a few miles i realized that the sun was definitely going to set before we reached the campsite, so i backtracked to find philip, determining that it was safer and more prudent to travel together. his pace was achingly slow, and we reached the campsite well after dark. we cooked, though philip didn't eat much at all, and he went to sleep shortly after. i wasn't particularly sleepy, so i wandered and looked at things, as is my wont. when i returned to the campsite, i saw a pair of eyes glinting from philip's backpack, so i scrambled for a camera and managed to snag a few pictures of the fox crawling around inside. this is the reason you leave your backpack open at night; if you happen to leave crumbs inside, an animal will chew straight through to get to them. fortunately, his zippers were open, so no harm done. i checked to make sure our food was secure against the foxes and mini-bears and then went to sleep.
we woke on day five, ate, packed, and headed to the indian garden campground. the hike was 4.7 miles, and the way was not unbearably steep, but this is where the challenges ceased to stem from the canyon and began to stem from philip's physiology. in hindsight, it's pretty easy to diagnose that due to his lack of adequate preparation and my lack of adequate attention, he had developed hyponatremia, a condition in which the body lacks sufficient sodium. this was due to his lack of food and led to his generally dazed state, exhaustion, and, eventually, nausea and vomiting. bummer with a capital B. i carried most of his stuff up the trail to indian garden in an effort to alleviate his discomfort, and, after we arrived, we tried to get him warm and nourished, but at the time i didn't really know what was wrong (possibly my biggest mistake was my inability to diagnose), so i didn't insist on the right kinds of treatment. long story short, he stayed sick, and, after nightfall, we decided that it was to the point that we should look for some real help. we got up and started wandering in the direction we assumed was the ranger station, eventually finding the lone ranger (no pun intended...) assigned duty on Christmas. oh, also it was Christmas, i guess i forgot to mention that. the ranger pretty easily determined that philip had a raging sodium deficiency, and he gave us some salty chips and mac and cheese (do you know how much sodium kraft mac and cheese has in it? it's a little absurd) and told us where the mule wranglers kept their stash of snacks. we returned to the campsite and tried to fix philip up with some salt. he went to bed and i headed stealthily down to the stash where i stole several bags of pretzels and some other random stuff. then we went to sleep. silver lining, though: he didn't puke on the tent! woohoo.
on day six, i woke up early and cold. i started layering, but i couldn't get warm in the shade, so i started walking. my little walk turned into a two mile nature hike, complete with some stunning pictures of the sun rising over the canyon walls to illuminate desert flowers, cracked and frozen puddles, and, of course, rocks. i spent quite a lot of time standing on the edge of a cliff and looking down at the flowing colorado, pondering the mysteries of the universe or some such nonsense. the elk/deer count at this point was 24. after the sun had sufficiently risen above the canyon, i returned to the tent to cook and wake up philip. he managed to imbibe a bit of gatorade mix, and maybe some leftover mac and cheese, i don't remember. anyway, i realized that, considering the amount of time it took him just to walk to the latrine and back, this day would be a long one. therefore i packed everything into my backpack, put it on my back, and slung his pack across my chest. equipped thus, we headed up the second half of the bright angel trail, 4.3 miles long and 3000 feet up to the summit.
along the way, i was rather surprised to find that only two people, out of the scores of groups that i passed, offered to help me at all. but lots of people commented on my giant balls, so that was nice.
the views from the bright angel trail are much more sweeping than those from the kaibab; i stopped often at the tops of switchbacks to take in the scenery. as the sun continued to rise, and eventually set, it played with different peaks in different ways. combine this evanescent light with the gradual change in terrain as the sand and dirt turned to mud and snow, and you have quite a stunning environment that is difficult to put into words. pictures on facebook, yo.
i left philip, though he was actually never too far behind me. i could generally see him on the switchbacks a few hundred yards back, and i occasionally stopped to make sure he had enough water and food. i know that, given his malnourishment combined with nausea and weakness, the hike was just as challenging for him as it was for me (carrying 90 pounds or so, just saying). eventually we reached the peak; i arrived first and chatted with an old french couple for a while, stretching and eating and generally trying not to cramp up. philip summited and we agreed almost without speaking that we wanted to get out of there. it had been a rough few days, and we wanted to get on the road, because being on the road meant getting home to our nice warm beds. i drove 530 miles that day, nonstop; i'm quite sure i have never driven so long in my life. the great thing, though, was that you can pretty easily do 90 through all of arizona and new mexico and no one will even see you, much less care. so we cruised on to texas. philip decided to spring for a hotel instead of spending another night in the back of his car, so we got our warm beds and hot showers a day early.
the next day, day seven, was fairly uneventful. we drove 970 miles and pulled into my driveway.
and that describes philip and andy's grand (canyon) Christmas adventure, 2009.
the end.